New Year

A New Year a New Start, is often seen at this time of year.  After a tough few months (see previous post) I have now begun to see the light a little more.

It was a very dark hole I entered into, but as I knew the Lord would be faithful, and he truly was, I am now back to full strength and eager to see what 2013 has to offer.  Yes there will still be tough times, but I am stronger now and more positive to face whatever life has to offer.

The wounds are now licked and people forgiven, and I enter 2013 with a renewed vigour to serve my Lord in new and wonderful ways and to ensure that I worship him totally with my life and heart, and being kind to myself along the way, recognising my need of others and help instead of trying to carry the burden myself.

Yes I can truly say that the New Year has brought about a new start for me and I hope and pray that you will find the peace and security you need in our Lord Jesus Christ, so that you too may come and worship the Christ-Child, Lord of Lords and King of Kings.

Happy New Year to you all.

It's how I feel!

Feeling very hurt!  I always try to do my best, work hard and support others in their own journeys and difficulties.  I don't do it for praise and thanks, but for the benefit of the person and the kingdom, but to sit and listen to someone say their thank you to everyone else who has helped them and be left out of the list hurts!

Feeling so low at the moment with so much going on, Stuart being made redundant, pressure from family to sort their problems out, demands coming left, right and centre from the stuff needing doing at home and my own health issues isn't helping.

Trying to stay positive, but it's hard.  I feel so undervalued and useless at the moment - can't seem to get anything right even though I'm doing it to the best of my ability and with the right intentions - perhaps I need to think again about whether this role is right for me.  Feeling so far removed from God, I know he's there, and am trying my hardest to reach out to him but not getting there at the moment.  I know he has plans for me (and us) but this test is just getting me down!

I know I will come out of it, I know God will sustain me and equip me, I stay faithful as God is faithful to me, but just feeling an invisible fraud at the moment.

Last Year Review

Well I did say that I would write, bet you didn't believe me! This last year has been a particularly difficult one for me. One of my best friends has been deprived of her Son, her Mother and her Brother-in-Law through death. It was my privilege to stand by her and to take both her son and mother's funeral services - tough though they were. I really admire her strength and resolve in the midst of one tragedy after another , but it has made me question many things about the God I trust and believe in. It is fair to say that for a time I felt far from God at many times, but I know that He has been there throughout all that has happened. In July last year my mum had a fall and broke her hip and ended up in Northampton General (she was going on holiday at the time) - she recovered well from that, but in January 2011 she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Again questions were asked by me, but my God answered my prayers and has brought her through with tremendous healing. It was my turn next to be diagnosed in October last year with Gallstones - I went through the system very quickly and was meant to have keyhole surgery - however this is me we are talking about, and when they began operating they found that my Gallbladder was not in a good state and stuck to other organs, so ended up having full surgery. The surgeon speaking to me afterwards saying that I shouldn't have been upright given my condition. However I believe that God helped me to continue His work right up to the operation, even though I was a bit of a grump at times! Also during this last year another close friend has been suffering from bowel cancer, and again questions asked - but again God has shown a path through for her and sustained and loved throughout, despite some setbacks along the way. This all sounds very morbid - did I also mention that I missed my daughter's graduation ceremony due to my illness?! :) I do believe, despite all my difficulties of the past year and my questions that God has been at the centre of everything I have felt and done - it is only through His faithfulness and forgiveness that I am back on track. I also give thanks to the close friends who have stood by me, loved me and prayed for me (you know who you are!) For those people who have supported me, without their knowledge, by their kindness, prayers and thoughtfulness in too many ways for me to mention. God is good and His faithfulness endures forever. I hold onto the promise that whatever life throws at us "Nothing can separate us from the love of God" and "God is with us even to the ends of the earth". God sees the big picture, whilst we only see a small part - trust Him and He will provide for all our needs whatever we go through. The real highlight of my year though was that my eldest daughter, Julia got married in March this year, to a wonderful young man called Joe. We had the most fantastic day, all our professionals did a most amazing job to make our day very special indeed.

Long Ago!

Ok, so it's a long, long time since I wrote anything on here! So am going to try and keep it up to date from now on, sharing my thoughts, feelings and worries - so don't say you haven't been warned!! Keep watch over these next few days and you will see a brand new entry - hope you are sitting down!

Pentecost

It is some time since I wrote on my blog for those who follow my musings. I have no excuses other than busyness!

But as I reflect on what I have achieved, well in my eyes probably not a lot, however I know that in God's eyes I have achieved an awful lot in His name. God works through us in many ways that we are not aware of, those things visible through the fruits of the Holy Spirit that as Christians define us, that blueprint for our living and witness.

As we reflect on the passage for Pentecost, often referred to as the birth of the church, the coming of God's Holy Spirit, let our busyness not get in the way of what God wants to achieve in and through us. How often do we leave God out of our lives? The Holy Spirit is our driving force - imagine trying to drive a car without an engine! The Holy Spirit is our guide, our inspiration our encourager, our helper in times of need - in fact He is all we need to live our lives - but we have to put Him at the helm and to set aside our own wishes and desires and let Him lead us in ways of righteousness and power according to His will.

Find a quiet place, give God time to speak to you as he spoke to the crowd on that day of Pentecost - pray this prayer and let Him lead you.

Come Holy Spirit as wind

Come Holy Spirit as fire

Come Holy Spirit and set us ablaze for you

Come Holy Spirit and transform our lives

I offer my life afresh to you

Let Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven

AMEN

Back Home

Back home after an amazing week of God blessing His people through His Holy Spirit. Bible study was execellently led by Krish Kandiah, Saltmine Theatre Company were superb, telling the story of Esther, excellent speakers and good weather for once, although a little on the cold side at night time, but a week without rain, that must be a first for us in all the 17 years we have been going!

Worshipping the living God with 5,000 other Christians is an amazing experience - if you haven't tried it I suggest you give it a go, you will be spiritually refreshed, although physically tired as there is so much to do!

I am, along with Mike going to organise a group for 2011 and an information evening for those interested in coming with us so watch this space!

Visit the website for more information:
www.springharvest.org

:)

Spring Harvest

It's that time again when myself and the family, plus others pack our bags and plenty of food and head for the sunny resort of Skegness to endure the delights of Butlins, but we aren't there to enjoy all that Butlins' entertainment offers, but to worship God with 5,000 other Christians of all denominations. There are bible studies, seminars, wonderful worship and a real sense of the Holy Spirit at work within us. A truly blessed time where you can begin to recharge your batteries, explore all that God wants for us and learn more of Him.

Visit the website to learn more of what Spring Harvest is all about: http://www.springharvest.org/